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We had two fistfights at our wedding reception.
First, my cousin popped her cousin.
Then somebody's date hit on somebody's wife Blue prom dresses, and the wife got mad at her husband for not doing anything about it, so slugged him for not intervening.
Later A Line prom dresses, when we lived in England long prom dresses, my wife worked with a bride who punched out another woman at her own reception. Clambered over the table in her wedding dress and coldcocked a guest who was making moves on her kid brother. It was the fairy-tale wedding every little girl dreams of, only different.
Chances are the guests will be better behaved at Friday's royal wedding, though it would be totally awesome if, say, Princess Anne got in a shoving match with Elton John or the Duke of Edinburgh had someone thrown in the tower and beheaded.
I say this as an ardent monarchist. I bow to dogs named Prince plus size prom dresse 2011, always call "heads" when flipping a coin cheap Bridesmaid dresses, turn pink at the ears when licking the back of certain postage stamps. I grumbled a bit when B.C. Ferries raised its fares, but went stark raving postal when they tried pulling the Queen's portrait from the vessels. Here in the Times Colonist newsroom A-Line dresses, Cleve Dheensaw and I stand back to back, bayonets fixed, valiantly trying to repel the waves of wretched, soulless republican zombies who are gradually sucking the poetry out of our blessed dominion.
Yet even I harbour the hope that something goes a little sideways when dashing Prince William and fetching Kate Middleton wed Friday -that the caterer brings the cake to the wrong palace, or Prince Harry gets caught showing his sceptre to a bridesmaid in the cloakroom, or the horses pulling the carriage suddenly go NASCAR, bolting like a Blackhawks fan in the Shark Club. For it would be good for the world to see that even the best-planned, most expensive nuptials can wobble into the ditch, that you can't spend your way to a perfect wedding any more than you can buy a perfect marriage.
Though Lord knows we try. According to a survey for Weddingbells.ca, the average cost of a Canadian wedding -rings 2011 prom dresses, reception, honeymoon, the works -will be $23,330 this year cheap guest dresses, up from $20,229 in 2010. Canadianwedding.com says the average ranges from $20,000 to $30,000.
What kind of craziness is that? When did we get the smart idea that the best way for a couple to embark on their journey together is under the weight of a crippling debt? (Or to delay their parents' retirement by several years?) And imagine dropping 30 grand on a one-night party, only to have some drunken car crash of a best man send the sobbing bride running from the room with a "toasht" that makes a Dane Cook routine sound like Bob Newhart.
The bar gets raised impossibly high when commoners try to copy the royals. In 1981, brides salivated over Princess Diana's ��9,000 dress, its train longer than the E&N Dayliner. "Tiara boom today" was the award-winning headline in the New York Daily News when she visited the Big Apple.
Once again, there's a rush to cash in on princess envy. The television is currently carrying an ad for something called the British Historic Society (an ancient organization with roots stretching all the way back to November White prom dresses, when it was set up by a New Jersey telemarketing company) in which some guy with an American's idea of a posh English accent flogs cheap replicas -"simulated sapphires" and "simulated diamonds" -of Kate's engagement ring. I'm thinking of buying one with a simulated cheque.
Jeez, if only people would put as much effort into their marriages as their weddings. If only they would base the decision to marry on love, not the ability to pay for the perfect party. Besides, pauper or prince, something is always going to go wrong. Rain. Drunken uncles. The chicken dance. The photographer turns out to be an escaped prisoner of war and disappears just before the wedding (happened to my in-laws). Fistfights.
It's all OK. If the glass slipper breaks, you can still dance barefoot.Topics related articles:


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